September 14, 2000
ou
know, sometimes you just shouldn't sleep. Last night, I went
to be a bit early (around 1:30AM) and was lying in bed thinking
philosophically (it's a skill). I had come to some outstanding
revelation that I wanted to share here about how we as individuals
had a specific place and effect in the universe as a whole, and
something else about responsibility, ripple effects, etc.
Now that I've slept, all I can remember was being excited about having something substantial to talk about here on the website. Go figure. I mean, it sometimes is a real struggle to come up with something significant to say here...as those of you who have one of these journal sites are well aware of (those of you lurking should give it a try.... builds moral character, puts hair on your chest). The fact is, sometimes you sit down here after your shower, and stare at the screen and wonder what in the world would interest anyone about my life? Do I really think I have some incredible insight into the nature of human existance that is important to share with the world?
I tend to go back to Heinlein's quote (which I'm sure I'm misremembering) that says writing is only mental masturbation. Kind of an odd thought, but it may apply. Am I showing some sort of arrogance and conceit that I'm better than other people by sharing my thoughts here? It certainly isn't my intention to do so. It's just a (at least intended to be) way of sharing information with friends without being in direct conversation with them.
I've had many conversations with friends that stick with me more permanently than others... deep, philosophical discussions (not arguments) about things that seem important to my life. (and weird stories that friends tell about the farms that McDonalds owns that grows the packets of Ketchup they have... never knew the packets grew, did you?) I guess this sort of daily writing is an effort to capture that creative thought process, and be able to get it down on virtual paper, so you can not only share your viewpoint with others (yes, that's important) but get their input and positions on what you're talking about (even more important). So, I hope that you, dear reader, aren't thinking about what a big jerk I am for writing this stuff (although I probably am), but paying more attention to the flow of ideas, the information about personal viewpoints, the acceptance and rejoicing in our differences, the sheer friendships we're trying to foster amongst ourselves.
In fact, I'd urge you to try this. It is an interesting practice, and may help keep extra brain cells alive, since you really need to use them to come up with something to write about. Which is interesting.... when I sat down here, 15 minutes ago, I thought I had nothing to say (not even ::gasp:: a rant). Now, I think I've touched on (or danced around) something perhaps more important, at least for me. This whole thing isn't an excersise in getting information to you, its an exercise for me to be able to be more cogent in my thoughts, and to stress my abilities to communicate them to others without offending them.
One of the most important things in the world, IMHO, is the ability to share viewpoints, without rancor. The ultimate (both good and bad) would be the ability to share all your thoughts with someone else (mind meld or whatever), but for now, we'll just have to continue writing our websites, and commenting on each others opinions.
Last thought for the day... while I don't always mention it, I do read your weblogs every day. And enjoy them. Keeps me honest, keeps my mind flexible, and informs me. Thanks, all of you.